尋找半生　直到相遇　才感到天的旨意在暗中營造
從心接觸　真的太好　可靠著一起灑脫同路
流星滿天　像雨灑下　忘不了當天相約共對星塵下
仍然念掛　你的情話　常贈我真心真意是無價

情像流星　沒有星　閃過一段情　一息間但看清
情像流星　像眼睛　相對閃亮時　心弦無限動聽
從生到死　沒法躲避

生日是感恩的节日

 

 

桌子上  闪烁着七彩光芒的荧光棒  让我看到友情的美丽

友情是一颗美丽的星  是你让黑暗的夜空有星星的点缀

是你  让我平淡无奇的生命有友情的点缀

想到他们在我的生命中常常成为我的鼓励  我真的带着满心的感恩

虽然我并不完美  也常常觉得自己是个很失败  很糟糕  的朋友

真的  总觉得我的付出是那么地少  总觉得自己忽略他们

但我的朋友依然包容我  依然接纳我  依然疼爱我

依然将我当着小公主般棒在手心上  照顾我  宠爱我 (:

 

荧光棒仿佛轻轻的述说着每一位朋友的名字

握着它们  我将朋友带到祷告中  轻轻的提起他们的名字

天父  朋友的需要  很多时候  我并不知道  真的  不完全知道

但是  你知道  他们的挣扎  你也知道  你在他们生命中的蓝图

你的心意  他们的未来  你的计划  他们的前程

天父  教导我如何成为你的驴驹  使用我  带给朋友  祝福

我并不完美  但你在我的生命中倾注的祝福  却是超乎我所想象的

帮助我  学习将这份祝福  传递下去

 

收到家人的祝福  很开心

连家里的小狗都跟我说  生日快乐  摇着尾巴等我回家呢 (:

弟弟妹妹  爸爸妈妈  在电话的另一端  轻声地对我说  生日快乐

考试的压力依然很大  爸爸说  妈妈每天都为我祷告

坚持下去  因为天父的恩典够你用  他的喜乐每天滋润我的心灵

带着微笑  放下电话的听筒  知道妈妈为我祷告  让我拥有许多安慰

当我软弱和支撑不下去的时候  妈妈的祷告  让我坚持下去

姐姐出意外了  虽然并没有受伤  但车子进入车厂维修了

大家都在准备考试  要加油哦！

 

明天的 lecture，希望我不会睡着 (:

最后一个星期了  希望自己能够把握上课的机会 

享受在课堂上的学习  品尝大学生的滋味  积极的参与学习的乐趣

想起去年初来到澳洲念大学时  带着振奋的心情 

想要见识成为医药生究竟有什么特别之处  

也想知道大学生活究竟有多么精彩  出国留学究竟有多么光彩

转眼间  两年的大学生活就快来到尽头了  回顾过去

有许多值得回味的经验  也看到自己踏实的长大了

真的  尽管自己仍然有许多任性的时候  但增广了见闻  见过了世面

自己的社交圈子  属灵生命的长进  课堂上的知识和生活中的经验

错综复杂的人际关系   一次又一次的逃避  还有在受伤中得到医治

都让自己有不再一样的见解  真的  不再一样了

 

生日  让我感到很幸福  家人和朋友  给予的关怀和疼爱

还有天父爸爸   让我知道我是你的掌上明珠

却也再次让有机会自己回首过去一年的成长

看到自己在跌跌撞撞中不断地摸索   不断地寻找

在跌倒和失误中  学习站起来

让受伤的心灵在天父的医治下得到释放  重新有力面对人生的风浪

路是难走  但 21 岁灿烂的生命  却因为你而绽放美丽的光芒

闭上眼  许下生日的愿望  真的愿意看到自己长大

在心智上  在属灵生命上  都有天父的恩典和知识  陪伴着我  成长

在天父的花园里  即使我只是毫不起眼的小黄花

我依然是他所疼爱、所珍惜的  一朵花

 

(:

 

---

     

      Forgetting what lies behind
      Setting my heart on the prize
      Always keeping my eyes on my Lord Jesus
      I'm running the race to win
      All the way to the end
      Laying down every sin that would seek to hinder me

      And I'll be faithful to my calling
      For You are able to keep me from falling
      For in Your promise I will trust
      You'll be faithful to finish the work You began in me

pinky promise

人生能遇到多少朋友  能遇到多少真正朋友

在这充满美景的道路上  陪伴我过少年

在缤纷色彩的世界里  我寻找曾经的朋友

霓虹灯下的世界  是否还有纯真

在人来人往的人海中  我要以真挚心来相逢

你是否还是最初的你  仍握着我的手

天上星星是否已改变  在这纷乱无尽的世界

没有了光  没有了爱  人类带上那丑恶面具

停止改变  不再犹豫  我要你  仍握我的手

---

想起初中的时候  很喜欢的一首曲子  以友情为主题  好些部分的歌词都忘记了 

十指在琴键上舞动时  从记忆中浮现许多的片段  友情一颗美丽的星

轻快的曲子  带出了歌者的心声  在无奈中却带着丝丝的希望

在茫茫人海中  寻找那曾经那么熟悉的脸孔  再一次握着那双温暖的手

朋友

*****************************

During his boyhood in Scotland, John McNeil worked a long distance from home. the walk home took him through a dense forest and across a wide ravine. the ravine was known to house such nefarious tenants as wild animals and robber gangs. darkness would often gather before he got to the woods, and he said, "how i dreaded to make the last part of the trip! i never went through those woods without trembling with fear.

One night it was especially dark, but i was aware that something or someone was moving stealthily towrad me. i was sure it was a robber. a voice called out, and its eerie tone struck my heart cold with fear. i thought i was finished. then came a second call, and this time i could hear the voice saying, 'John, is that you?'

it was my father's voice. he had known my fear of the ravine and the darkness of the forest, and he had come out to meet me. my father took hold of my hand and put his arm around me; i never had a sweeter walk in my life. His coming changed the whole trip.

that is God's relationship to you and me!

He is your father and my father. through the darkness and mist we hear his voice - he has come to meet us. just at the time we need him, he will be there. through the darkest moment of life our heavenly father says, ' FEAR NOT! Here is my hand! I will walk the rest of the way with you."

专爱

教导我  专一来爱你  专心来为你而活

  嗯  现在应该是开始读书的时间

  但是  真得很想在笔记本上写些什么  可能  很想念写作的时光吧

  最近  大家都忙着啃书  年终考试就快来了  很自然的  都应该专心读书对吗？

 

  今天下午  从 CMHSE 走出来  前往 campus centre 登记 CBP Poster Presentation 时

  收到 Jaclyn  捎来的一封短讯  让我的心情极佳

  那只是一封很平凡的信息  

  但很简短的一句话  却让我放下了过去几个星期  心里的牵挂和担子

 

Trust in the Lord, lean not on your understanding, and He will make your path straight

 

  Make your path straight

 

 这句平凡不过了的话  却在那一刹那  惊醒了我

 是的  前面的道路看起来是那么的崎岖  每一个拐弯处  都让我感到彷徨

 不知道  下一个角落的另一端  山的背后  是怎么样的一幅风景

 不知道  自己能否有勇气支撑下去

 不知道  以自己的实力和努力  能否抵达目的地

 战战兢兢的踏出去  每一个脚步  带着许多的害怕和不安  

 总觉得自己无法完成这段路程  总觉得自己很孤单  总觉得这条路不易走

 

  He’ll make my path straight –

 那是他的应许，是真的吗？

 

 我抬起头来  看到 Building 15 前面延伸出去的  是一条笔直的道路

 转个弯  通到 campus centre 的路径  是宽阔的  也是笔直的

 在阳光和微风中摇曳的枝叶仿佛轻轻的对我说话

 瞧  笔直的道路  在天父的手中  岂有难成的事吗？

 只要你愿意相信天父的能力  将自己的不足交在天父的手里

 让他牵引你的脚步  带领你的每一个脚步  不需要害怕  也不需要带着牵挂

 让信心牵引你  一步步  走在他为你预备的道路上  

 即使有的时候走在羊肠小道上  有的时候走在宽阔平直的大道上

 即使有的时候走在凹凸不平的崎岖山路  有的时候走在花香满径的小径上

 即使有的时候走过低洼山谷和沼泽地带  有的时候走在绿意盎然的平原上

 当你将自己小小的手心放在天父的手心中  让他来牵着你的手  陪你走

 在路的另一端  你可以有十足的把握  再怎么艰难  再怎么沮丧

 再怎么想放弃  再怎么想哭泣  再怎么寂寞  他永远不会离开你

 真的  他  永远  永远  永远  永远不会弃你不顾

 

 那是他的应许

 他说到做到  在他  没有难成的事  你愿意相信吗？

 

  中五那一年  是我们的会考年  还记得很努力的准备 SPM

  考期近了  压力也随之增加了  那段日子  天天都在努力读书

  有那么一个周末  一群神学生来到我们的教会分享他们的故事

  同一个星期天  他们会到直凉的教会带领神学主日  

  因为他们的小组献唱需要司琴  所以就将我带去了

  也因此  我学会了一首诗歌  神的道路

  而这首诗歌  一直到今天  依然成为我的鼓励  

  真的  从开始到现在  他都顾念我  

 

            神的道路  高过人的路

            神的意念  高过人的意念

            他的心里有蓝图  他的时间不错误

            一步一步  带领你前途

            他立大地的根基  他让云彩空中漂浮

            是他创造  生命气息 

            是他应许  照顾赐福

            神造万物各按其时  耐心等待必要欢呼

 

  真的  在耐心守候中  我依然选择相信  在他的心意蓝图中  却对没有错误

  诚然  我的软弱和恐惧会让我惊惶不已  但在他的手心中  我可以坦然面对压力 :)

 

---

 

选择长大 就代表放弃象小孩一般单纯的心吗？

 

这么多年来  我都在问自己同样的问题

如何在培养成熟稳重的性格中却又不失去单纯的心态

如何在自己的言行操守上表现成熟的作风，却又在其中不失去简单和纯朴的思想

成长的岁月中 我不明白 为什么我一定要像大人一样

总是很矛盾的问自己

大人 有什么大不了 - 那是很幼稚的思想

慢慢的 我明白了 

就像幼苗一样 也像妈妈怀里的宝宝一样 我们始终得长大

我们始终得离开爸爸妈妈 追寻自己的梦想 独立的在自己的生活圈子中成长

我们始终得学会保护自己 我们始终得学习在摸索中去认清自己人生的方向

我们始终得懂得怎么去领导 也晓得如何在忙碌中找到自己的平衡点

我们始终得学会在品格的建立中为自己塑造属于自己的形象

我们始终得学会做选择 选择自己的升学路径 选择自己的事业 选择自己的终生伴侣

在 对与错 是与非 的界线上 我们始终得为自己立下界限

  我们始终得为自己的生命负责任

在人生的终点线上 我们始终得为自己的人生交帐

长大 是那么自然的生理过程

但是 属灵的生命 我的思想和情感 是否在成长呢

抑或 成长的里程碑 已经积满了灰尘 原封不动的停留在多年前留下的印记那儿呢

 

嗯 长大 不代表不再放纸飞机 也不代表不再碰童年的玩意儿了

长大 不代表完全失去了孩子的单纯 也不代表脸上不再泛起童真的笑容

长大 依然会容许犯错的空间 依然会有失口的时候 依然会有许多遗憾和愧疚

我想 我能够给予成长最完美的定义 不是脱离孩童的幼稚 走入成人复杂的世界

而是在自己的生理和心智上有长进 在素质的变化和更新中

保存原有的美好 在智慧的孕育下 产生更完美的自己

其中不能少的 却是我们往往忽略的 恩典

成长的过程中 很容易犯错 在长辈的斥责和同辈的排挤中 很容易就经不起挫折

因为得不到肯定 因为得不到接纳 因为得不到包容 成长就停顿了

成长 包含着单纯的心灵 其中渗入的真理（智慧） 还有恩典的点缀

成长 是那么美好的一件事啊！

 

下个星期 就是我 21 岁的生日了

那也意味着我真的长大了

虽然对自己的任性和幼稚会有许多的不舍 但我告诉自己 我要长大

当然 一夜长大是不可能的事

成长是一段过程 需要时间的滋润 还需要经验的浇灌 需要耐心的塑造 

需要身边的朋友和家人的包容和督促 需要一颗坚持的心

上个星期 Calvin 给我上了一堂 "Being an adult"  的 lecture

Zepeng 告诉我 较比去年 今年我已经进步很多了

镇坤 （对吗? ^_^）提醒我 成长的心路 只有当你自己走过的时候 你才会明白

Daniel 说 他们还是喜欢原来的我 :)

那天晚上 妮蕙发了一封信息给我 告诉我 其实我拥有 adulthood 的特质

只是 很多时候 我选择保持简单

 

今年的生日 给自己新的主题 （暂时还找不到主题曲）我要长大

祈求天父 教导我如何成为合神心意的女孩

在追求成长的道路上 成为他国度中的勇士

在清心守候中 找到成熟稳重 却又不失单纯的自己

这是今年生日的心愿 ^_^

 

天父爸爸 我献上感恩

 

嗯 想念我的郁金香 不知道在 Jessica 窗前的那盆花 是否依然飘溢着独特的香味

爱是恒久忍耐  又有恩慈 

爱是不嫉妒  不自夸  不张狂  不做害羞的事

不求自己的益处  不轻易发怒

不计算人家的恶  不喜欢不义  只喜欢真理

凡事包容  凡事相信  凡事盼望  凡事忍耐

爱是永不止息

如果这是爱的定义，你觉得你懂得这么爱一个人吗？

我不会  我不晓得该怎么爱  我很矛盾

---

今天晚上的天气十分凉爽
几个月来  终于可以打开我的书桌边的窗口
让凉快的晚风轻轻的吹进来  为这个安静的角落带来阵阵的凉意
带着愉快的心情  准备进入温习功课的状态
天父  我的内心充满的是无限的感恩

今天下午  Cheng Khoon （怎么总是找不到你的名字呢？） 兴奋的告诉我
他快要毕业了 ^_^
那是他在教会上的课程  不再一样的我
然后他谈到最近学的功课  服事
还有很多时候坚持下去  努力的付出  却得不到回报的颓丧和气馁  还有无奈
该怎么办？  忍气吞声吗？ 还是放弃算了呢？
不知怎么的  他又谈到哥林多前书 13 - 爱的真谛  （我的名字从这儿来的也！）

我突然间想到今天早上自己在灵修笔记上抄下这段经文  还有自己的心声
原来  最近的自己也在质疑  质疑自己所付出的爱  是真心的  抑或是抱着人家回报的期待？
爱是恒久忍耐  但我总是很快就放弃了  当我的付出并没有见效的时候  很快的  我就宣告终止了
爱是满有恩慈  但我总是那么的执意  那么的执著  紧紧地捉着自己的规律  怎么都不能让他人触犯
爱是不嫉妒  但我总是在比较  总是暗暗的嫉妒  为什么其他人总是得到更多的关注呢  我呢？
爱是不自夸  但谦卑的功课却是我怎么努力学习  都学不成的功课  怎么办？
爱是不张狂  不做害羞的事  不求自己的益处  不计算人家的恶  不喜欢不义  只喜欢真理
好像能够犯的错  我都犯了

      爱的功课  怎么那么难学呢？

只能悄悄地告诉天父 - 求你帮助我学习你的爱
让我以基督的心为心  学习耶稣的爱  然后将这份爱流露在我的生命中
我知道  我的爱极致的微小  我的爱是那么的自私  那么的贪婪  那么的虚伪
求你帮助我学习你一样  奉献的是无私的爱  是真诚的爱  是牺牲的爱
即使得不到赏识  我相信  来自天上的奖赏  才是我的心所渴慕的

---

人生的风浪 - 你来牵我的手  陪我乘风破浪 

在你永恒的翅膀之下  我找到了  安歇之处

你告诉我 - 你的日子如何  力量也必如何 -

因为你的应许，我知道，我能够勇敢地面对明天

O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you
my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you,
     in a dry and weary land - where there is no water... Psalm 63:1

engeddi - 但愿我的生命是如此的美

祷告  因为有些事我只想对你说
祷告  因为你比任何人都明白我
但是  今天来到你的面前  却说不出话来 
只能将自己的泪水带到你的面前
因为  你曾经应许  忧伤痛悔的心  你不嫌弃

Time - 1:05 am (3 October, Friday) -

This is worse than an assignment!!! (and I'm learning to love it ^_^)

Simple Rules:

1. Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
2. People who are tagged need to write on their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
3. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
   
4. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged, and to read your blog.
   

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ONE
I just concluded myself (and with Jessica) that I don't know myself well enough - maybe this explains why I hate doing this ^_^ I think if I am given the task to write about myself, I will fail the essay immediately. Sometimes I wonder why I need to sit myself down and think about my life experiences before I can share with somebody else - maybe I just couldn't care less about myself (this sounds very wrong!!!) Uncle Peng Ho was sharing in CDS last Sunday about how we all are wired differently - some people love to live in a mess, some people love to be organised and neat, some people prefer organised mess ^_^ Therefore, I shall be proud to say that although I don't know myself well enough, I am just being different (weird is a better word, I think) - I shall not be ashamed to say that aloud and there's no reason I should be guilty of that ^_^ Still, come to think about it, if I don't know myself well enough, how am I going to improve my strengths, upgrade my skills, change my bad habits, correct my wrong attitudes, develop my talents, and mature into the lady God intended me to be? If I don't make the effort to identify my giftings and find out how I can make the most out of my life here on Earth to serve His purpose, how am I going to attain my full potential and be a success? If I have no idea what resources I have at hands, how am I going to use them for the benefits of many? Even Sun Tzu in the Art of War says that we need to know ourselves before we can gain the victory! Maybe I am just too selfish. Well, the first lesson for today - I need to know myself well enough (and not just myself but my Creator too! You see, He always knows best!!!) if I want to be who I meant to be ^_^

TWO
I love to make life beautiful (in fact, that's one of my favourite phrases, especially when food tastes good! - Fawn can testify that!) ^_^ by making potato egg salad for myself!!! Haha! Of course there are many other things that I actively do to make life beautiful ^_^ take the first sip of warm honey drink when I wake up in the morning, walk in the sunshine and gentle breeze, pause and stand in awe when God put a rainbow in the sky, bend down and admire the simple yet delicate wild flowers along the roadside, gaze at the stars and try to figure out which one is the Polaris, write a short note for a friend and to receive a note saying 'thanks', send SMS to friends early in the morning so they the message will greet them as soon as they open their eyes, give a surprise visit to friends just to see the looks on their faces, quietly slip into the music room in the basement of campus centre and spend hours indulging myself in music, receive a postcard in my letterbox! ^_^ i think it's really enjoyable to make life beautiful but sometimes i allow myself to be emo a bit ^_^ haha! just for the fun of going through such complicated emotional experience! i'm glad i'm alive! Life is so beautiful! ^_^

THREE
I love to buy books. Read carefully. I love to buy books (doesn't necessarily mean I love to read books - they are totally different!) - and this is attributed to my dad whose dream is to run his own multimedia library when he retires. The childhood memory of my house is a mini-library and daddy really loves the books! He treasures all the books he owns and he takes good care of them. What amazes me the most (even till now) is the fact that he remembers each and every single book he has on the bookshelves - he knows where the book comes from, he knows on which shelf the book is, he knows what is inside the book, and most importantly (and probably best of all), he knows which book suits our needs/taste whenever we ask for one. He has never ever misplaced a book. Mom always says that they complement each other because she reads the books that he buys =D Daddy doesn't own much property in his life - he used to say that the most valueable possessions that he will pass down to use are the thousands of books that he has spent all his extra income on ^_^ Daddy would never miss any book fair in our small town - whenever there was mobile bookfair in the town hall, he would faithfully bring the whole family there and we would spend the whole day there reading our favourite books. He would keep going back, not just once or twice, but many more times until he found the book worth spending the last few coins in his pocket. All these books serve as useful resource tool for him when he prepares sermon - Daddy has invested much of his life in chinese literature ministry by disseminating the resources he has through his personal website. I have seen how other Chinese churches in Malaysia are blessed by the resources he provided them, I have seen his generosity in sharing these resources that he has carefully selected and meticulously refined, I have seen the hardwork and the effort he has put in behind the scene, I have seen how his life has been wasted for the cause of the kingdom he is called upon, I have seen the attitude of lifelong learning in him, and I have the favour of God upon him, all because he made the decision to follow the calling of God. From a kampung boy who knew nothing about technology to the pastor who created his own website in 1990s when website was still uncommon, he has dedicated his life to this ministry. I think the most precious thing, apart from the heritage of faith, that daddy has passed down to me is the passion for books - and the belief that words can speak into and change lives. Daddy always says that he's not born for the pulpit but when he responded to the call to be a pastor, God equipped him and gave him the ability to speak publicly. Deep down inside, he loves literature and linguistics. Daddy's dream is yet to be fulfilled and there is still a long way to go. When I was young, it was my ambition to be a librarian (how cool is that!) so that I could be part of daddy's team in his retirement plan ^_^ Even though it seems unlikely to happen now, the love for books that I am carrying from my childhood into adulthood has never changed. I still love to shop for books! I hate shopping (in general) but I LOVE shopping for books!

(okay I'm sleepy now - and it's not even half... maybe i should keep the rest to the other day!!) -


FOUR -

FIVE -

SIX

SEVEN

EIGHT

I need to ZZZ ZZZ ZZZ -